Unemployment… It’s Ruining My Life!

I remember when I decided to go back to college in 2010. I felt so empowered and exhilarated about this new chapter in my life. At that point in time, I had a 6 year old boy. After finally receiving my Bachelor’s degree in 2013, I had accumulated another little chickadee. There’s nothing like giving birth to a baby boy on the 8th of January, only to start spring semester the next day! After all that hard work and perseverance, I was convinced that I wouldn’t have any problems finding a good, quality job that I somewhat enjoyed. I worked my butt off for years so I could receive that degree. And I moved to Chicago so I could make something of myself, and so my kids could be proud of what I have accomplished. But ever since getting unexpectedly laid off from Renewal Chicago five months ago, I’ve just been scared. I’m terrified that I’m going to lose my apartment, or my car. I can barely keep food on the table. It’s somewhere I never thought I’d find myself after being offered a position that was supposed to last at least 3 years, and moving my entire family here to be a part of it. Then to just be let go with no real explanation. It’s so frustrating. I moved into this apartment September 6th and they let me go less than 2 weeks later.

Fast forward 5 months, and I’m still looking?! I know William absolutely loves this time he’s been able to spend with me, but the stress is eating away at me. I want to enjoy our time together, but as each day passes I find myself running a calculator in my brain 24/7. Each bill I can’t pay gets added to the amount in my head, and it makes me sick. I have always been the provider and protector of my family. Without that, I don’t even know who I am. I want to find an opportunity where I can continue to be who I’ve always been. I want to provide for my family and go back to being able to cherish my time with my kids without the stress of bills.

If anyone out there in Chicago has any positions they are looking to fill, please let me know! It seems like filling out applications and sending resumes just isn’t going to be enough. If you don’t know of any positions, please just keep me in your prayers!! Thank you!

Have You Ever…

– taken a walk with your children without electronics and just watched them?

– sat down for dinner and truly talked to your children about their day and LISTENED?

– seen the joy in your children’s eyes when they ask you to play a game with them and you ACTUALLY have time for it?

– gone to a quiet and sacred place by yourself and relished in the nothingness that follows?

– taken your children out on a rainy day to let them splash in puddles AND joined in with them?

– spent an entire day with your children without pausing to take a call or reply to a text?

– sat down for family night without turning on the television?

We sometimes take for granted what we have. It’s not until it’s gone that we realize everything that we’ve missed out on. Don’t be too busy to enjoy life!

No Nonsense Exercise Circuit

Planning to lose 15 pounds by the end of the year. I think this will help quite a bit!
Just in case anyone has similar goals, I thought you might want to see this circuit and do it as well!

IMG_2798

Also, Joss & Main has a Giveaway. This cabinet is freaking awesome.
Click the banner below to enter to win!!!

Now That I’m Older, I Totally Get It!

Ever heard of the Maxine Comic Strip?
When I was younger, I thought it was such a dumb comic strip. Never found it funny and always bypassed it when looking at the comics in the newspaper or online.

Now? It’s freakin’ hilarious.
Oh, the joys of getting older :-p

I hope you enjoy it as much as I do!

Maxine1  Maxine2

Maxine3  Maxine4

Maxine5  Maxine6

Maxine7  Maxine8

Maxine9  Maxine10

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Why Many Single Mums Don’t Cry

I wrote this post in May 2014. I never finished it, probably because it was too hard. I read something from one of my readers that made me decide to post it. Sometimes things are so hard or feel so lost that we want to give up. Even if life isn’t that bad, it can feel like it is. I just wanted to share this to my single mum readers. If you’re not a single mum but know someone who is, please share this. If you feel like you have no more options, contact me, and perhaps I can help you think of a solution. Sometimes, just running your problems/thoughts by someone else is all you need to come up with a game plan. I’m always willing to be a sounding board.

We wake up before dawn. Our thoughts riddled with the worries of the day before we even open our eyes. Sometimes, it’s as trivial as worrying whether we’ll have enough time to make coffee before taking the kids to school. Usually, it’s whether we’ll have enough money for food and rent that month. The exhaustion kicks in before we even make it to the restroom. Hunched over on the toilet in the dark, relishing those two minutes of silence and peace before all hell breaks loose. Our backs, minds, and feet hurt. Then we realize we’ve just woken up and there’s no sense in thinking about bedtime just yet.

Checking on the littlest one before heading downstairs, we remember a time when we slept that peacefully. A slumbering bedhead full of hope and joy, with nothing to terminate our dreams but the soothing voice of a loving mother that can’t wait to hold us once again. Those are always the memories we hold dear. Clinging to them like a life raft as we wait to be rescued.

We descend the stairs in angst, wondering what the day will bring us. One step at a time. The minutes will fill the hours, we know. Before we realize, the children are ready. All gleaming from head to toe. We look down at ourselves, grimy but presentable. Grabbing the car keys, we head out the door. On the way to school, the children busy themselves with toys and books as we painstakingly attempt to stretch math into making everything add up so all the bills gets paid. As we calculate in our heads, with no sleep, while driving; for a split second we honestly think we made it work. Until we get home and actually use a calculator. Then we realize we just need to learn to add correctly.

Unsure of how an hour after waking up, the house could look like the remains of a city after a tornado, we crawl around the floor, picking up toys, books, games, and food while the little one tries to jump on our backs to play. We don’t say no because this “game” is probably the closest we’ll get to playing with him today so we let it continue on. Our homes are somewhat recognizable so we sit in front of the computer to get some work done while the baby eats in the high chair next to us. We cradle our breakfast (coffee mug) in our hands as we contemplate the piles of projects that need to be finished ASAP. After half an hour, the baby is done and needs to get out. We give him a bath and realize we need to leave if we’re to get to the babysitter in time for our second job.

Throwing items into the diaper bag and running out the door, we make it just in time to drop the baby off and work a few cherished hours where we spend the entire time thinking that we have a list a mile long of errands to run that we’ll never get to. Getting off work just in time to pick up the oldest from school, we grab the baby and run home to decide what healthy options we have for dinner in an empty fridge because we simply don’t have time for grocery shopping. We throw something together, and while it cooks, we go back to the computer to try to finish the work from our first job. Before we know it, it’s dinner time. Everyone is fed and we forcefully smile as we explain for the millionth time why {insert the same crap as always here}. For us, it’s typically the reason why the oldest should help with chores and responsibility. As we feel ulcers starting to grow inside our tummies, we escape the moaning and complaining for a few quick seconds alone in the bathroom, only to have the door swung open by a grinning baby with aviators and one sock on. {Best way to get interrupted on the toilet by the way}.

Ordering the oldest into the shower and off to bed as we put the baby in pajamas for their bedtime as well, we guiltily can’t wait for the silence that comes once the children are in bed and the dishes are done.

Why don’t we cry you ask? Because we are strong. We don’t give up. We know that even in the hardest or loneliest of times, there’s a silver lining. We know that those precious moments with our children is what keeps us going, and being strong and brave for them is the wisest choice we can make. If we let them see us cry, we’re crushing their beautiful and innocent outlook on life. We see the problems and the anguish, but all they see is a mommy. Someone that loves them no matter what. They see a safe home and a warm bed. They are content with their life because we’re in it. Our children are our world, and we are theirs. Don’t let them see you cry. No child’s shoulders should hold the burden of our problems. And don’t forget how strong you really are, even if you don’t feel like you are. We are resilient and beautiful. We have options. Always.

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Missing a Man – But Not For The Reasons You Think

I thrive on being able to perform activities that “men” are only known to accomplish. Put up a tv mount? I’m your girl! Fix a cabinet? Piece of cake! Sometimes it has been referred to as my Napoleon Complex. I assume some of it has to do with how small I am. The rest probably involves my feeling of insignificance. Why do I feel insignificant? I have no idea. It’s been an ongoing problem for me. But that’s beside the point…

I miss having a man around. Regardless of my Napoleon Complex, sometimes I really just don’t feel like having to do everything around the house. Sometimes I want to watch my strong brawny man take care of his woman and his home. Do I have one of those? Nah. Although, my little 2 year old, William might beg to differ. He asks for a screwdriver to “fix” his tricycle on a daily basis. It’s probably the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen in my life.

I guess my point is that even though I thoroughly enjoy being capable of taking care of my home and my family, it doesn’t mean I can’t miss not having to.

I don’t miss how inconsiderate men are. Or how they don’t notice anything. I don’t miss their illogical logic. Definitely don’t miss having my blanket stolen every night. Last, but not least, I especially don’t miss having to cook and clean after them. Can you tell I’m always with the wrong guy? Hahaha

If you’re a single mother, be proud of what you can accomplish. Even if you’re struggling in any way. Don’t be afraid to miss a man, but never forget that you are beautiful and powerful, and there’s nothing you can’t handle because God made you that way.

Keep your chin up, and remember that I may only be a blogger to you, but I’m always here if you need something🙂

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